Distractions
It baffles me how quickly things can change. Winter quarter sped past me as if it was going 200 mph and I had no control over it. I have to say it was one of the best quarters at school I’ve ever had, I got good grades, met amazing people, and worked out everyday (which I am EXTREMELY proud of). I have no regrets, except this, I keep letting myself get distracted from my relationship with God. It starts with one slip up, and my whole world turns, leaving me feeling further away from Him than ever before. It’s like I forget that His love is UNCONDITIONAL. I’ve been using people, school, and the gym to distract myself without knowing it. I fill my day from the minute I wake up, to the very end, leaving no time to work on my relationship with the only form of security I can depend on.
I have an incessant need to be independent, to never have to trust anyone, and especially to never have to ask for help. It’s dangerous in my relationship with God because I find myself thinking I don’t need him. He is my only source of happiness. I got so caught up in other people and relationships I was no where near ready for, that I completely lost sight of Him. I make this mistake on a regular basis and I know God forgives me for that, I just hope I can continue to learn how to be better. I want to be confident only because God makes me confident. I want to be content because God fills the void in my heart that I so often fill with temporary things/people.
I want to be in a place in my life where I can maintain a positive relationship with God, myself, and another person. I know I’m getting there. I am so grateful for the lessons I learn everyday and continue to thank God for blessing me continuously.
-B.Fuller
