A Fight to Forgive.
I want few things in this life,
I want to love, be loved, and bring praise to God through everything I do. Those three things seem easy enough, but sometimes they feel impossible. I have been so unforgiving throughout the past couple of years, Thinking that I could never deserve much. That anything that could possibly make me happy was too good to be true. I would wake up in the morning, I go through the motions, and would be left with nothing other than an empty, but heavy heart. Contradicting as it may seem, it was a feeling I fear I’ll never forget. A feeling that often creeps up on me, chilling me to the bone. Making sure that I have nothing that day but a fight to forget. A fight to forgive.
So here I go… Forgiving you for the hurtful words, for the insecurities, the lies, the lack of respect, the wasted time, the difficult choices, the broken relationships, the heavy burdens, and the lack of sleep. I’m forgiving you, without your apology. I deserve what is coming into my life, and thanks to you, I appreciate the surprises that catch me off guard every single day. I refuse to let my life be controlled by a fear that always told me I wasn’t good enough, That all good things must come to an end. I’m choosing to believe that everything happens for a reason, that I am capable of letting this go. I’m letting it all go.
Thanks to God, I don’t have to bear my burdens any longer. He is the strength inside me at all times. He is my everything.
Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you
-Proverbs 4:25
